Much like a toddler testing his/her parents’ limits, teenagers also will rebel against and push their parents’ edges and limits. A teen is trying to find his/her place as an adult, but unlike an adult, is not completely aware of the consequences and effects of their decisions. Adolescence is often a time when teenagers are going through hormonal changes, experiencing peer pressure, and just searching for who they are in this world. During this trying time, the teen may become rebellious and defy authority and especially parents.
Living with a teenager can often be very difficult for parents and other family members. The teen’s behavior may begin to cause strain in family relationships, friendships, and even in the classroom environment. However, as a parent of a teen, it is very important to remember that this is a very important time of transition for them. Some parents may take the easy way out, losing their temper and getting frustrated with the teen. However, parents that choose the hard way, will use positive reinforcement and other techniques to help their teen develop and become less defiant in the long term.
Taking the easy way out includes:
* Losing your temper and screaming at the child
* Constantly comparing them to their siblings or other teenagers
* Constantly recalling their bad mistakes and judging them based on their previous choices
* Making decisions for them
* Cutting off communication or isolating yourself from your teen
* Not showing enough love or compassion toward them
Losing your temper and screaming at the teen will only result in a huge blow up and fight. This can be further motivation for the teen to rebel. Rather, pick and choose how you will handle situations. A teen’s choice of clothing and hair style can often be a major concern for parents. Instead of making a huge deal and creating an out of control fight, speak to your teen calmly about how you feel about their new choice of purple dyed hair. Giving them your opinion and thoughts in a calm manner will help them to critical think about your reasons for concern. They will be able to think about it and make a final decision with your concerns in mind. However, if you spend time screaming and yelling, they will simply tune out your opinion and do the complete opposite.
Avoid comparing them with their older brother or cousin. This will make them feel less adequate or special. Rather, look to their unique and positive traits. By letting them know that they have characteristics of their own, you will prevent any type of sibling rivalry or jealousy.
Although it may be easy to let a past mistake slip into a conversation when talking with your teen, avoid doing so. If you are discussing future choices, avoid recalling every past bad mistake and consequence that they faced. This constant remembrance of failure will lower their ability to critical think. They will begin to feel like every choice they make is a mistake and set themselves up for failure. Instead, focus on positive choices that they have made. Let them critical think their way to a resolution and choice on their own.
You have to understand that your teen is going to make mistakes. When they do, be supportive and still show love and encouragement. They need to know that you will help them through their choices. It may see easy to just make every decision for your teen because as a parent, you have the wisdom to make the “right” choice. However, taking away your teen’s ability to make their own decisions will only cause greater problems in the long run.
When you become angry at your teen and their decisions, it becomes very easy to just ignore them and cut off communication with them. You may feel that not talking to them for a few days will let the situation blow over and things will return to normal. However, tensions will only build over this time period, further causing them to rebel against you.
Although it may be difficult, you must remember to show love and compassion toward your teen at all times. Even when you are angry or disappointed in their choices, you should remember that they are going through a difficult transition in their life. They need your love and advice to guide them.
If you are dealing with a rebellious teen, you can be comforted in knowing that you are not alone. Phases of rebellion often occur throughout adolescence as teens find their own self in their search for adulthood. However, when teens become out of control, violent, or a danger to themselves or others, this form of rebellion has reached an extreme. It becomes time to seek professional help.
Dealing with an extremely rebellious teen can often be frustrating and exhausting. Giving them 24 hour support and guidance can be emotionally and mentally draining. Maintaining composure and calmness begins to lessen as your frustration and exhaustion increase. For teens that are just experiencing mild to moderate cases of rebellion, seeking help from a counselor may be the solution.
However, for teens that are facing extreme versions of rebellion, getting counseling and guidance at a round the clock supervised environment may help them understand and cope better. New Creations Boarding School offers this type of guidance with over 40 trained and experienced professionals. They will be available to talk and minister the teen anytime they are in need of guidance.
By following a strict, regimented schedule that is implemented in a kind, nurturing Christian based environment, the teen can critically think through their decisions and choices and better understand consequences and their future. They will also receive a quality education that will help them get back on track when they are ready to return to the public school environment.
If your teen has become highly rebellious and you fear their choices may cause life long consequences or they may harm themselves or others, New Creations Boarding School can help. Their program will implement scholastic education, extracurricular activities, sports, and positive peer pressure to help guide your teen into a better lifestyle. Visit their website at www.newcreationsboardingschool.org for more information on how to help your teen in the difficult transition to adulthood.